I felt like I was in control of my life yesterday, that is the first time that has happened in over seven years. I was so elated that I considered popping open a bottle of champagne, but the Seahawks were playing the Saints, and that is really more of a beer drinking event. I feel overwhelmed today with joy that I was motivated without having to force it, what I wanted to do – I did, without any self-talk or self-deprecation. I’m going to chalk that up as a point in my favor.
Trust is the highest form of human motivation. – The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People
I was just talking about trust with the husband a few weeks ago. He asked me to answer a question for him, it was: When women are dating, in a relationship with a man, do they ever ask themselves – “Can I trust him?”
I had to think about it for a minute and realized that I had never once asked myself that about the men I dated and moved into relationships with. I always knew that there were things that I could not trust about them though. “A relationship without trust is like a car without gas, you can stay in it as long as you want but it won’t go anywhere.” I have no idea who said that, but it is true.
The simplicity in answering this truthfully is key, do you trust him? I know in my past relationships that I never did trust them, if they lie often it is a pattern and from what I know to be true for destructive personalities, it is because they are selfish and don’t want to face the consequences of their actions. There isn’t a healthy way to live with a liar because the pattern of deception corrodes a relationship. While that is happening in one corner, the other corner is us, trying to force ourselves to believe the lies. When we force ourselves to believe lies, even though our gut tells us it isn’t true, it steals our confidence in what is reality. It steals our trust in our own instincts little by little. Then, we are left in that relationship-car that won’t go anywhere, feeling insecure and insane, when in truth, we were right, it was a lie.
After my husband asked that question I thought about how simple a decision factor in relationships that would be. Don’t trust him/her? Don’t date him/her. Don’t trust him/her? Don’t believe him/her.
Trust is earned, respect is given, and loyalty is demonstrated. Betrayal of any one of those is to lose all three – Ziad K. Abdelnour